Everybody is a „communist” edition.

By that of course I’m referring to the fact that both the governing party (Fidesz) and the opposition coalition (DK–Jobbik–Momentum–MSZP–LMP–Párbeszéd) calls each other „communists, bolsheviks, Kádárists” on a regular basis. Allow me to give you a basic rundown of the parties running.
>Fidesz
Right wing nationalist party that has been reelected a shitton of times due to the fact that they at least gave *crumbles* to the general population. They wage a fake „war of independence” against the EU by having united the „Visegrad 4” as a bloc and sometimes voting against the interests of the EU core, blocking sanctions against Russia, China, etc. They blocked NGOs (NED, Soros, etc.) from the country. They heavily changed the election system to their favor. (More on this later.) They tried introducing American-style „televangelist” and „evolution-skeptic” Christianity in the country. They were supportive of worker strikes that went against the interests of multinational companies in Hungary (TESCO, Mercedes, etc.) while remaining silent about the strikes (typically from the education, healthcare sector) that are going against the interests of the government. Of note: Orbán himself and a handful of Fidesz funding members received free study grants in the UK from the Soros Foundation so their anti-communism/pro-Thatcherism runs deep, and them banning such NGOs from the country is not in spite of their beginnings, but from having learned first hand the power of foreign influence on the country, being representative of such in the first place. [Of course tons more could be said about Fidesz, but alas, you faggots will cry TL;DR anyway, so.]

>the opposition coalition
These parties united because of the severe constitutional changes Fidesz had the opportunity to introduce, which they promised to undo. It’s a clown-world coalition however, if you look into these parties one-by-one:
>DK
„Democratic Coalition” is lead by ex-president Gyurcsány who you must recognize by this wonderful little stunt he pulled in 2006 which lead to Fidesz securing the 2/3rd support from the population: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKFCAoXEknE https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%90sz%C3%B6d_speech … In any case this party in the past had open xenophobic sentiments against immigrant workers in Hungary, and anti-gypsy shit as well. Interestingly, economically speaking they are the most „left wing” within the coalition, promising more *crumbles* to the people than Orbán.
>Jobbik
Ah, yes, the boogeyman for the Western radlib. Yeah, so Jobbik became „big” after and due to the above mentioned Gyurcsány speech and now they are in a coalition with him. C L O W N W O R L D. Previously they had members that were outright fascists but since they realized the Fidesz is the hegemonic political entity they toned down the racism, kicked out dozens of nazis, and became a professionalized political party. This self-denazification + PR stunt by Jobbik is usually referred to as „cutifying of Jobbik” by the Hungarian population since when they started campaigning with posters that had cute puppies on them instead of I don’t know… bashing gypsies or something. Within the parliament they always voted WITH Fidesz on cultural shit (anti-LGBT, pro-Christian, etc.) but against when it came to constitutional changes giving Fidesz more power. They also toned down their anti-EU stance to being mere EU-skeptics.
>Momentum
Founders are children of Hungarian millionaires. Need I say more? Neolibs hiding their neolibbery because it’s obviously unpopular. They are among the most fervent anti-Orbánists calling for jailing Fidesz members. EU-cuckery runs deep with these folks.
>MSZP
„Hungarian Socialist Party” – fuck these guys to death, man. They split from Kádár’s Hungarian Socialist Workers Party („MSZMP”), went full retard and pro-regime change, adopted a very similar name („MSZP”) and themes (the color red), call themselves „socialist” while always doing privatizations, neoliberalism, and austerity when in power. They single-handedly made the Hungarian population associate the word „socialism” with „austerity”. Remember that Gyurcsány guy above? He used to be their president. They are one of the most corrupted mother fuckers in this country, having shared interests and economic ties with Fidesz when it comes to sharing the big pie that is the wealth of this miserable country. They used to be the „alternative” to Fidesz, and now they have like 5% support. A fucking joke.
>LMP
Green party with mixed „socialist”-leaning (*crumbles*) and agrarian-right-wing-leaning sentiments. Anti-nuclear power (lol). Muh human rights. Muh freedumbs. Used to have 7% support, now it’s around 4% if it stood alone.
>Párbeszéd
Split from the greens. Completely negligible apart from the fact that they appointed the mayor of the capital city of Hungary (Bukarest). Yes, it’s a joke: Budapest, but made some people seethe ;^)

These mother fuckers combined their powers, pointed up their magical rings towards the sky and Captain Planet and the Planeteers-style summoned their candidate, Márki-Zay Péter so
>Márki-Zay Péter (MZP)
He became famous for having defeated one of the Fidesz Lords for a mayoral position in a small city. Ran for the coalition’s presidential position and won. He became rich in the 90’s by participating in a Multi-Level Marketing scheme which got busted, so he moved his family to Canada for a few years, waiting for the scandal to end, then moved back to Hungary. His wife is a new-age anti-vaxx loony who suddenly became pro-vaxx after her husband’s candidacy. MZP tried to create a party of his own after having won said candidacy but got BTFO’d by the opposition coalition („you ain’t gonna start another party for us when we finally split up the pie between us”). MZP is super pro-Ukraine. MZP is a loud Christian, and pro-EU. He came out in defense of beating your children as a legitimate form of parenting. Every time this dumb mother fucker has an interview or posts something on Facebook the opposition coalition loses MEASURABLE support. We’re talking about -0.1 – -2 percentile here. Some opposition supporters asked him to „just STFU and win, FFS!” Still, anti-Orbán sentiment is so strong that he has a chance to win. BTW, Fidesz media calls the guy the „Hungarian Zelensky” and they do have a point: the guy is a complete noob when it comes to politics, he loves Ukraine, loves EU, etc.

And now for the parties that run independently. Let’s start with the funniest one:
>Megoldás Mozgalom (MeMo)
„Solution Movement” was founded by the 3rd richest Hungarian, Mr. Gattyán ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gy%C3%B6rgy_Gatty%C3%A1n ) who became a billionaire with his drumroll famous porn site LiveJasmin. Some people say that they are Fidesz stooges trying to fracture the opposition vote, some say that the dude is having a midlife crisis which he tries to „solve” by „solving” the problems of Hungary via politics. It is a known fact that 99% of his political „activists” are paid for the job. Hilariously, this mother fucker managed to have the FIRST reported fatal cases in a political campaign in Hungary. Two security personnel was guarding his campaign tent in the middle of a square and they had a heating system going on. The two secu guys died of carbon monoxide poisoning. RIP, faggots. CLOWN WORLD.

>Magyar Kétfarkú Kutya Párt (MKKP)
Joke party, and I mean literally. It was founded by a random artist dude who also used to sell weed on the side. What can I say? They have really funny messages but tend to be nihilists in my opinion. „Muh transparency” and so on. They refurbish old bus stops and pavements as publicity stunts. „Meh.” It is speculated that these dudes might get 5% of the vote, which is the minimum for entry to parliament. That would be funny as fuck, because they would hack parliamentary sessions on a regular basis, but still, „meh.”

>Mi Hazánk Mozgalom
„Our Country Movement” or „Muh Country,” as I prefer to call them, became the fascist party after Jobbik cutified itself. Basically the fascists that were dumped from Jobbik ended up here. They actively call for a segregated school system (gypsies vs. pure blooded [as if that ever existed] Hungarian children), work camps for „undesirables” (gypsies), chemical castration for pedophiles (without realizing that this would effect Catholic priests), LGBT=pedos, and so on. They are very anti-NATO and anti-EU, which is based, but so fucking spooked on a shitton of issues, as you can see. It is speculated right now that even if Fidesz doesn’t get a majority of votes, united with these mother fuckers they could still hold majority in the parliament. Besides, even if the oppo-coal wins, it still includes Jobbik, which, as I said above, votes with Fidesz on cultural issues, so the steady right-wing cultural tendency of this country is guaranteed. I can easily see them being bought out by Fidesz, which already has a history of uniting with extreme right-wing parties in the past to be able to govern (Fidesz-KDNP-MIÉP).

And finally, /ourguys/:
>ISZOMM-Munkáspárt
The history of the „radical left” in Hungary after the regime change had two consistent characteristics: 1) fracturing, 2) being fucked over by bourgeois parties.

1) Currently there are like a dozen micro-parties on the „radical left,” disunited, and unmeasurable in terms of voter support. The Worker’s Party (Munkáspárt) suffered a split in 2006, when an influential (then) youngster decided to split from them and create his own „Hungarian Worker’s Party 2006” brand, which secured PEL ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Party_of_the_European_Left ) support and grants ($$$) for itself. The split this time wasn’t based on Trotskyism as our general anglo readership would assume, but on Marxism-Leninism vs. Eurocommunism. Simply put, the leader of the split saw a lucrative opportunity in getting Western-EU-communist financial support that the original Worker’s Party didn’t use, so he created a party that could join said EU bloc. He used his party to back anti-Fidesz coalitions all the time. „The fascists are coming, we need to vote for the libs” has been their line since 2006. What a pathetic joke.

2) Most notable of this is the raising the parliamentary bar to 5%. In Hungary, after the regime change, the minimum percentile of votes secured required for entry to parliament was 4%. After the population realized that 2.1) capitalism wasn’t this „heaven on Earth” scenario that the regime changing parties promised, and that 2.2) the above mentioned regime changing „Socialists” (MSZP) weren’t socialists, the measurable support for the Worker’s Party grew above 4.5%, so the then governing parliament decided to raise the entry bar to 5%. The Worker’s Party at that election got 4.8% of the votes, barred from parliamentary entry, and becoming demoralized by the fact, understandably. Since then Fidesz has been tweaking the election system in a way that makes it way harder for minor parties to be able to even apply for running. Previously you needed to gain 500 „supporting signatures” in 27 voting districts (500 x 27 = 13500, but realistically, you had to gather 600 per district, to ensure that fakes, errors, etc. were not present on your „supporting sheets,” ergo 600 x 27 = 16200) and now Fidesz decided to raise the 27×500 bar even further to 500 x 71 [!!] (=35500, but realistically, 600 x 71 = 42600).

/Ourguys/ were the first „radical leftist” parties since the regime change who decided to UNITE and run together, INSTEAD of splitting up into irrelevant fractures. /Ourguys/ were the first to understand that „muh fascist r coming, vote for libs” is horseshit. They didn’t, however, gather the raised and required „supporting signatures,” but came to almost 2/3rds the way. This means that they will not have a „national-level” access at the booth. You can vote for them ONLY in voting districts wherein they secured the 500 signatures, and you can not vote for them in districts where they didn’t. IF this new „radical leftist” coalition could secure 1% of the votes (doubtful, but let’s fucking hope), they could receive from now on state subsidies that would mean that they could spend way more money on campaigns, receiving way more publicity, and so on.

IF YOU HAVE A HUNGARIAN FRIEND, PLEASE TELL HIM/HER TO VOTE FOR ISZOMM-MUNKÁSPÁRT IN TODAY’S ELECTION!

If you’ve read all this shit I wrote, know that I feel indebted to you. The country in question is no more than 9.75 million people, and if you bothered to get educated „on us,” you have our gratitude.